It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
