IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
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