if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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