god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
