Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
