i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
well you can't waste a boner
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
