Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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