Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
it's like iHOP with fire
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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