i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize