last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
