Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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