Dual....:-)
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She told me I should be a condom model.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
