...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
