it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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