you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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