We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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