I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
