Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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