he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
is it fun? or sober?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
