is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
