i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
