I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
