Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Randomize
