He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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