i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
