I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
