i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
