i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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