his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
This show inspires me to have sex in space
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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