You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize