Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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