i don't like sucking hair
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i can't believe i had my finger in that
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
