i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
