we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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