Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
