You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
