At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
