i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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