so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
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Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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