I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
