just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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