i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
