I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
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