After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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