my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
