By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
