You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
