did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
