I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize