i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
