my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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