I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
