Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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