So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
If its not for food we ain't going out.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
