so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
