I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
