It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
