I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
