Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
