I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This can only be settled by a dance off.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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