Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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